I emailed president bush this week urging him to send more aid to the tsunami victoms..here is the transcript
Mr President,I have supported you for 4 years now,and voted you back in office to compleate your mission of spreading peace and democracy around the world.But things have changed again as they will ,and I want to ask you a favor..Is it possible for your party in january be subdued or maybe even cancelled because of the disaster situation in the asian gulf?I know you earned it,and you have the right to celibrate,you and the Republican party.It just seems wrong to party while so many need our help.Cant you talk to your money doners for the party and have a old fashoned barn dance instead and have them donate most or all of the money that would have been spent for food and water for the victoms?I am a third generation Californian,Republican, Buddhist.and would like you to know there has never been a war fought in buddhas name,nor do these people ever plan to start one.These gentle people need our help now,not later.This might be your one chance to change the way the rest of the world views you and your administration.I hope you listen to your heart on this..and become an even greater leader than you already are..Sincerely Scott Taylor
he didnt respond personally to my email,but I did get the standard form email back,stating he cant personally respond yada yada yada..but today he increased the aid to 350 million..That is a start,Mr. President!All of my online friends have donated also,so good job to all!

piercing the egg
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Christmas Eve

I put up lights tonight
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I'm sitting here alone tonight after a friend just left,and I'm alone,but not lonely.It just hasnt seemed like christmas this year.Maybe it was the election..Maybe it's the war in Iraq,but I just havent been in the mood, yet.But I did get excited when I bought my first grandchild his first christmas gifts.A little one again.And the circle of life continues.So what does Christmas mean to me?It means the Christ child is born..The Nativity scene.My Uncle Harold coming over to give us loads of presents since he never had any kids..We also called him Uncle Quarter.He always had a few quarters to press around into everyones hands..He died on my birthday last year.He was in his 90's..His brother my grampa lived until he was 89 years old..They were both from boston..I wonder if they saw Boston red socks win their last champianship back when they were kids?Speaking of kids,mine come home tomorrow afternoon and we will have dinner at leah's for the first time not here at my house..She can clean the dishes for a change..

Make me Write Bad Checks
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The Rifle

A CHRISTMAS STORY


Pa never had much compassion for the lazy or those who squandered their means and then never had enough for the necessities. But for those who were genuinely in need, his heart was as big as all outdoors. It was from him that I learned the greatest joy in life comes from giving, not from receiving.
It was Christmas Eve 1881. I was fifteen years old and feeling like the world had caved in on me because there just hadn't been enough money to buy me the rifle that I'd wanted for Christmas. We did the chores early that night for some reason. I just figured Pa wanted a little extra time so we could read in the Bible.
After supper was over I took my boots off and stretched out in front of the fireplace and waited for Pa to get down the old Bible. I was still feeling sorry for myself and, to be honest, I wasn't in much of a mood to read Scriptures. But Pa didn't get the Bible; instead he bundled up again and went outside. I couldn't figure it out because we'd already done all
the chores. I didn't worry about it long though, I was too busy wallowing in self-pity.
Soon Pa came back in. It was a cold clear night out and there was ice in his beard. "Come on, Matt," he said. "Bundle up good, it's cold out tonight." I was really upset then. Not only wasn't I getting the rifle for Christmas, now Pa was dragging me out in the cold, and for no earthly reason that I could see. We'd already done all the chores, and I couldn't think of anything else that needed doing, especially not on a night like this. But I knew Pa was not very patient with one dragging one's feet when he'd told them to do something, so I got up and put my boots back on and
got my cap, coat, and mittens. Ma gave me a mysterious smile as I opened the door to leave the house. Something was up, but I didn't know what.
Outside, I became even more dismayed. There in front of the house was the work team, already hitched to the big sled. Whatever it was we were going to do wasn't going to be a short, quick, little job. I could tell. We never hitched up this sled unless we were going to haul a big load. Pa was already up on the seat, reins in hand. I reluctantly climbed up beside him.
The cold was already biting at me. I wasn't happy. When I sat down, Pa pulled the sled around the house and stopped in front of the woodshed. He got off and I followed. "I think we'll put on the high sideboards," he said. "Here, help me." The high sideboards! It had been a bigger job than I wanted to do with just the low sideboards on, but whatever it was we were going to do would be a lot bigger with the high sideboards on.
After we had exchanged the sideboards, Pa went into the woodshed and came out with an armload of wood---the wood I'd spent all summer hauling down from the mountain, and then all Fall sawing into blocks and splitting.
What was he doing? Finally I said something. "Pa," I asked, "what are you doing?" "You been by the Widow Jensen's lately?" he asked. The Widow Jensen lived about two miles down the road. Her husband had died a year or so before and left her with three children, the oldest being eight. Sure, I'd been by, but so what? "Yeah," I said, "Why?"
"I rode by just today," Pa said. "Little Jakey was out digging around in the woodpile trying to find a few chips. They're out of wood, Matt."
That was all he said and then he turned and went back into the woodshed for another armload of wood. I followed him. We loaded the sled so high that I began to wonder if the horses would be able to pull it.
Finally, Pa called a halt to our loading, then we went to the smoke house and Pa took down a big ham and a side of bacon. He handed them to me and told me to put them in the sled and wait.
When he returned he was carrying a sack of flour over his right shoulder and a smaller sack of something in his left hand. "What's in the little sack?" I asked. "Shoes. They're out of shoes. Little Jakey just
had gunny sacks wrapped around his feet when he was out in the woodpile this morning. I got the children a little candy too. It just wouldn't be Christmas without a little candy."
We rode the two miles to Widow Jensen's pretty much in silence. I tried to think through what Pa was doing. We didn't have much by worldly standards. Of course, we did have a big woodpile, though most of what was left now was still in the form of logs that I would have to saw into blocks and split before we could use it. We also had meat and flour, so we could
spare that, but I knew we didn't have any money, so why was Pa buying them shoes and candy?
Really, why was he doing any of this? Widow Jensen had closer neighbors than us; it shouldn't have been our concern. We came in from the blind side of the Jensen house and unloaded the wood as quietly as possible, then we took the meat and flour and shoes to the door. We knocked. The door opened a crack and a timid voice said, "Who is it?" "Lucas Miles, Ma'am, and my son, Matt. Could we come in for a bit?"
Widow Jensen opened the door and let us in. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The children were wrapped in another and were sitting in front of the fireplace by a very small fire that hardly gave off any heat at all. Widow Jensen fumbled with a match and finally lit the lamp.
"We brought you a few things, Ma'am," Pa said and set down the sack of flour. I put the meat on the table. Then Pa handed her the sack that had the shoes in it.
She opened it hesitantly and took the shoes out one pair at a time. There was a pair for her and one for each of the children---sturdy shoes, the best, shoes that would last. I watched her carefully. She bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling and then tears filled her eyes and started running down her cheeks. She looked up at Pa like she wanted to say something, but it wouldn't come out.
"We brought a load of wood too, Ma'am," Pa said. He turned to me and said, "Matt, go bring in enough to last awhile. Let's get that fire up to size and heat this place up." I wasn't the same person when I went back out to bring in the wood. I had a big lump in my throat and as much as I hate to admit it, there were tears in my eyes too.
In my mind I kept seeing those three kids huddled around the fireplace and their mother standing there with tears running down her cheeks with so much gratitude in her heart that she couldn't speak. My
heart swelled within me and a joy that I'd never known before, filled my soul. I had given at Christmas many times before, but never when it had made so much difference. I could see we were literally saving the lives of these people.
I soon had the fire blazing and everyone's spirits soared. The kids started giggling when Pa handed them each a piece of candy and Widow Jensen
looked on with a smile that probably hadn't crossed her face for a long time. She finally turned to us. "God bless you," she said. "I know the Lord has sent you. The children and I have been praying that he would send one of his angels to spare us."
In spite of myself, the lump returned to my throat and the tears welled up in my eyes again. I'd never thought of Pa in those exact terms before, but after Widow Jensen mentioned it I could see that it was
probably true.
I was sure that a better man than Pa had never walked the earth. I started remembering all the times he had gone out of his way for Ma and me, and many others. The list seemed endless as I thought on it.
Pa insisted that everyone try on the shoes before we left. I was amazed when they all fit and I wondered how he had known what sizes to get.
Then I guessed that if he was on an errand for the Lord that the Lord would make sure he got the right sizes.
Tears were running down Widow Jensen's face again when we stood up to leave.Pa took each of the kids in his big arms and gave them a hug.
They clung to him and didn't want us to go. I could see that they missed their Pa, and I was glad that I still had mine.
At the door Pa turned to Widow Jensen and said, "The Mrs. wanted me to invite you and the children over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. The turkey will be more than the three of us can eat, and a man can get cantankerous if he has to eat turkey for too many meals. We'll be by to get you about eleven. It'll be nice to have some little ones around again. Matt, here, hasn't been little for quite a spell." I was the youngest. My two brothers and two sisters had all married and had moved away. Widow Jensen nodded and said, "Thank you, Brother Miles. I don't have to say,
"'May the Lord bless you,' I know for certain that He will."
Out on the sled I felt a warmth that came from deep within and I didn't even notice the cold. When we had gone a ways, Pa turned to me and said,"Matt, I want you to know something. Your ma and me have been tucking a little money away here and there all year so we could buy that rifle for you, but we didn't have quite enough.
Then yesterday a man who owed me a little money from years back came by to make things square. Your ma and me were real excited, thinking that now we could get you that rifle, and I started into town this morning to do just that. But on the way I saw little Jakey out scratching in the woodpile with his feet wrapped in those gunny sacks and I knew what I had to do.
Son, I spent the money for shoes and a little candy for those children. I hope you understand."
I understood, and my eyes became wet with tears again. I understood very well, and I was so glad Pa had done it. Now the rifle seemed very low on my list of priorities. Pa had given me a lot more. He had given me the look on Widow Jensen's face and the radiant smiles of her three children. For the rest of my life, Whenever I saw any of the Jensen's, or split a
block of wood, I remembered, and remembering brought back that same joy I felt riding home beside Pa that night. Pa had given me much more than a
rifle that night, he had given me the best Christmas of my life.

Pentagon Dreams
Made in USA by Muddnet All Rights Reserved 2004

In Search of the Best Christmas Tree

Climbing the Three Hills in Search of the Best Christmas Tree

Just seven nights from the
darkest
night of the year, my son
and I climb
the three hills behind
the white
house, his flashlight
leaping
from hemlock to fir,
to white
pine and blue spruce
and back
again. Up, up higher
he runs,
shadow among larger
shadows
in the below-zero,
constellated
half-mooned sky, his
voice
so distant at times
I think
it is the wind, a rustle
of tall
grass, the squeak of my
boots
on new snow, his silence
making
me shout, Where are you?,
his floating
back, Why are you so slow?,
a good
question I ask myself to
the beat
of my forty-eight-year-old
heart,
so many answers rushing up
that
I have to stop and command
them back,
snow devils whirling
before
me, behind me, on all
sides,
names that gleam and
black
out like ancient specks
of moon-
light, that old track
I step
onto like an escalator
rising
to the ridge where the
best
trees grow and I know
I will find my son.

© Len Roberts

Jealousy

Jealousy is fear of not being good enough. It is an aspect of fear - an aspect of lack of self love. It is one of the most harmful diseases upon your planet today and the most damaging.

It can be transmuted by total self love - self acceptance and knowing your God within. It must be faced - brought out into the open and understood for the harmful disease that it is. Only then can it find release and be transmuted into oneness with all. There is no need or necessity for jealousy my child. It is your own illusion of fear which brings it about. Face your fears head on. Bring them into the light. Name them for what they are and they will have a hold over you no longer. Be willing to release your jealousy and your fear of insecurity into the light. You will discover, when you have done this, the most wonderful feeling of security, knowing and trust, that you have ever felt overwhelm you.

Know that you are immortal and nothing can harm you. You are your God within. You are all that is, and if you can truly love every aspect of yourself - jealousy will not have a place in your life. Be open with your feelings. Love all, serve all. But most of all, love self in every way.
http://www.gla.ac.uk/~gbza22/ench8.html

Bluegoo

I love blue,Dont You?
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Complexities in Interactions with Others

COMPLEXITIES IN INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS
In every situation we find ourselves in this life with another human being, there is always an exchange of energies. One is always competing for energy from another whenever there is a confrontation between two or more people. This energy exchange is so subtle at times, we are not even aware of it. When we are angry or upset, we draw energy from another, and unless we are centered, we are unknowingly 'sapped' of our energy through either a reaction of anger, or through pity.

When we come into contact with other human beings, without which there would be no growth, we are always facing some type of interaction, conflict or energy exchange. We have to learn to recognise the exchange that is taking place, and not surrender our energy to others when they are trying to manipulate our energy for their own purposes. We have to stay centered within our own centre and name the situation for what it is. Only through total unconditional Love can we learn to overcome this manipulation.

Affirmations of Abundant Supply

Following are other power affirmations for abundant supply.
Choose the affirmations that feel appropriate to you --
those that resonate with you, or strike an emotional chord.
It is important that the words feel comfortable to you and
are in line with who you are. Feel free to create one for
your specific need by substituting other words that have
special meaning to you:

Affirmations of Abundant Supply:

* I am now open to receive.
* Life is easy, I have an abundance of whatever I need.
* I now have surplus, all my needs are being met.
* I have unlimited abundance.
* I now give and receive freely.
* This is a rich universe and there is plenty for all of us.
* I now live in a rich and loving universe.
* Money comes to me easily and effortlessly.
* I am always supplied with whatever I need.
* I move forward with an expectancy of my greatest good.
* I look for and receive a bountiful supply.
* My greatest good is coming to me NOW.

Green Kidneys

green kidneys
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Savage Opression

Savage Oppression

Under blissful eyes
Bound and gagged from inside
Muting every waking thought with fear
The victim’s cry it won’t hear
Using pain for power
Controlling every passive hour
The voice of reason squelched by its wasteful needs
While peace is raped of its seeds

It’s brutal crimes escape from confession
And fuels it’s reign from our blind repression

I watch in bitter regret
As the children are shot
I may not have much of a sane mind left
But it’s far more than you got
While tension takes its toll
My bleeding morals grow sick
As your psycho monolith slowly takes control
The resistance starts to tick

Cold crimson flows from its naked aggression
And sparks the reign from our savage oppression

No More!

Corrupted laws chain the truth helpless
The civil ones crushed from the iron clad fist
Years of pain and hopelessness
Have brought the will and the cry to resist
My patience is stripped to the final core
I will not take your madness no more

No longer will we heed the beurocratic’s lies
Their misguided words have taken too many lives
While darkness and terror have strangled our vision
Choking tighter and tighter and tighter submission
Driven to hysteria and howling frustration
We rise and fight for liberation
The tyrants attempt to distort the solution
Has strongly ignited our revolution
To strike back at hate to stop tyranny
To strike back for vengeance
To kill the war machine
Crush martial law and bloody anarchy
Damn the oppressors to private purgatory
For the years of cruel enslavement
Have bled our freedoms dry
So we rise up from silence
Face the buggers and defy
And watch the bugger die

http://www.joerenzetti.com/index7.html

©1994 Astral Plane

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Twin orbs
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Given up

Given Up

I see through the air of confusion
Wrapped in delusion
Every side of hope in defeat
I see through the forgotten daydream
The words like morphine
Running every mind in deceit
The will to care is no longer there
The need to be well known shall go unsown in me

Given up playing the fool for vanity
Given up sacrificing the sanctity

I feel smothered by the expecting
Never rejecting
Such pointless demands in defeat
I feel flustered by the majority
The cold mockery
Drawing false guidelines in deceit
The will to live seems so primitive
The need to be high strung shall go unsung in me

Given up playing the fool for vanity
Given up sacrificing the sanctity

And I don’t feel like I’ve lost my soul
Never missed the time I was under control
And I don’t care about I’ve seen
Gave up my dream

Given up playing the fool for vanity
Given up sacrificing the sanctity
Given up playing the fool for vanity
Given up sacrificing me
Given up


©1995 Astral Plane
Joe Renzetti http://www.joerenzetti.com/index7.html

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Which way do we go ?
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We have moved beyond Print

Todays Fractal "Ants" 
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Where are we gonna go?